“A kiss is just a kiss” went the line in the famous song “As Time Goes By” that featured in the 1942 classic, Casablanca, one of the most romantic movies of all time. Indeed, what pop song is complete without some mention of it? And, as for art, who doesn’t know Gustav Klimt’s all-time masterpiece, “The Kiss”? But there’s so much more to it than that. Isn’t there something just a little strange about the fact that a simple exchange of saliva is considered by us to be a ritual of passion, a vital part of the build-up to sex? Just what is going on here?
Today we are going to take a closer look at this curious custom; after all, why is it so important in our contemporary culture when less than half of the world’s cultures place no significance on it at all, or even positively disdain it? Hunter-gatherers don’t practice it, for example. When asked, members of the Mehinaku tribe in Brazil described it as “gross”. The oldest evidence of anything remotely like kissing is found in 3500-year-old Sanskrit texts, in which it was described as “inhaling each other’s soul”. Egyptian hieroglyphics, on the other hand, depict people very close to one other and yet their lips do not join.
What’s more, it scarcely appears in the animal kingdom, let alone as part of sexuality. Chimps, for instance, kiss to make up after having an argument, rather than as a form of erotic foreplay. Those randy cousins of ours, the bonobos, kiss and even use their tongues, but even then, it’s generally in order to strengthen their social ties. As for other animals, smooching is a total no-go; for them, it’s enough just to get close and let the pheromones do their work. Throughout the animal kingdom, both males and females of many species rely on their sense of smell when it comes to choosing a mating partner.
This would seem to be a key clue to the phenomenon among humans. We do, after all, have a lousy sense of smell compared to most species. Therefore, it’s in our interests to have a good sniff before having sex. And from there it’s a short step to making actual labial contact. Having said that, studies have shown that a preference for kissing differs between the genders. When asked whether they would have sex with someone without kissing that person first, no less than 53% of men answered YES, while a mere 14% of women answered YES. For women, there seems to be little doubt that the smell and taste of their kissing partner is a big factor in their decision to pursue closer contact. Whether they are aware of it or not, women are using kissing to assess whether a potential partner is high enough quality to mate with.
Beyond that, kissing serves to enhance trust and intimacy in long-term relationships. It’s also good to know that a good “Frenchie” can also bring up to seven health benefits including lower blood pressure, fewer headaches, less dental cavities, more happy hormones, calorie-burning effects, greater self-esteem, a workout for the neck and jaw line (all that stretching). Knowing how to kiss might seem a no-brainer, but some people might benefit from tips. In an article I once read on how to French kiss, I picked up the following advice: Start with gentle lip contact. Then, softly place your tongue in the other person’s mouth. Flick your tongues together before rotating them in a circular motion. Take turns ‘chasing one another’ in the other person’s mouth. Suck on your lover’s tongue or gently bite it as a form of enticement. Ultimately, like any sort of intimacy, kissing involves being creative and personal preferences are highly individual.
There’s an urban myth that commercial sex workers generally refuse to kiss their clients on the basis that it is ”too intimate” or that ”it smacks too much of genuine desire
and love for the other person”. Fortunately, the stunning escorts at Barcelonaescorts are not included among them. Anyone who has ever had the fortune of having a GFE with one of them will know they don’t hold back when it comes to indulging in some serious tongue action! For those in need of a little ‘tutoring’ in the art of the kiss, they are the ideal teachers.
All in all then, kissing has got quite a lot going for it. So, given that the alternative is smelling people—something that will get you a lot of funny looks and probably no few slaps in the face—it looks like it’s around to stay as part of the weird and wonderful world of human sexuality.