I agree with many sexologists who confirm that sexual culture is a bipolar culture. Sexuality is actively present in every single aspect of daily life, the cinema, the street, books, advertising…. But nobody can talk about it with absolute honesty given that it is frowned upon (let alone in the event that you are female) and this means that many people regard sex as something that is fun, but at the same time bad.
It is the biggest and most mistaken contradiction.
Sex is a form of energy that revitalises, it is healthy for our psychological and physical life and that is why, to a large extent, it makes up a very powerful part of our lives, However, both family and religious education have given us 1000 reasons to regard it as something dirty or simply an act of reproduction.
The strongest and most damaging consequence of this has been the mental block that that same misunderstood education has instilled in many people when it comes to having and enjoying our sexuality. Fortunately, they are a not physical block, which is why we have the ability to attack them, to understand sex in a free, enjoyable and pleasurable manner.
All those false beliefs only go to feed our complexes and, as such, they distance us from accepting ourselves. We ask too much of ourselves. Introversion and expecting too much are the greatest enemies, the main barriers to enjoying what we like, to admitting what we want, concealing satisfaction.
How many times would we have liked to do that sensual dance that we saw in a video somewhere, or try out that position that we have read is absolutely orgasmic?
Making too many demands on themselves is an attitude to life that some people exhibit in every aspect of their lives: their work, their bodies, how they relate to their families. They feel that they are obliged to succeed in what they do and what is more, not only do it but also be the best; they are never satisfied with simply being different or finding the limit between what is perfect and what is good. There’s nothing wrong with not being perfect.
Like everything, when it comes to sex there is much to learn. The instruction manual has been designed so that men are the main ones who benefit, and that is without mentioning underdeveloped countries.
Even if we are comfortable with our partner, if we are not sure of ourselves, at home in our own bodies, it will be impossible to share with them the experiences that we feel like having, like trying out. Sexual blocks thanks to our complexes and insecurities.
USEFUL ADVICE
- Don’t play the victim. Look at yourself, know yourself, dare yourself and take care of your self-esteem.
- Feeling self pity is not good; nobody likes having somebody beside them who constantly plays the victim or acts insecurely: self pity wears people out.
- Feel proud of yourself.
- Don’t act out your complexes and fears.
- The mind is very powerful; remember that, if that person is with you, it is because they feel like it, relax.
- Be careful about what you wish because it might come true and perhaps it is not exactly what you wanted; enjoy what you have, for sure it’s very good…
- Try not to want to be perfect because, on the contrary, you will turn into a fearful woman beset by insecurities that will prevent you from enjoying sex in a way that is spontaneous, fun and happy.
- You will never be perfect in the eyes of everyone; there will always be someone who believes that you are good, but not perfect, and what is even better, what do you want to be perfect for? Being good is already important.
- Trust your partner, remember that, if they are at your side, it’s because they want to be.
- Look into their eyes, tell them what’s on your mind, express yourself in the way you this and ask them any question that comes into your mind.
Trusting
your partner will make you feel very comfortable and sure of yourself.
The best thing is thinking and convincing yourself that a sexual relationship is not an exam, it is a moment to enjoy. The person at your side has chosen you freely because they really like you whatever you do and in whatever way.