SHIBARI, BONDAGE, BDSM... there are many different ways to refer to the noble art of tying someone up and although all of them are different, deep down they all seek to achieve the same thing: greater excitement. Many women fantasise about being tied up so that they are free of any responsibility and can let the other person do things to them. Although it seems to be the opposite, this art is actually another form of freedom.
I’m tied up but I’m free to trust in my sexual partner and free to feel whatever pleases me. Free just because I don’t have to do a thing: just allow myself to be tied up and let them do things to many people think that those who love this art have got something wrong with them, they’ve got psychological problems or they want to change roles. We’ve all heard that men who have achieved positions of power in the world love to be submissive in bed so that they can know and feel what it is like to be on the other side. Or we’ve heard that women who come from the lowest social classes make the best “dominatrix”. It’s all a load of nonsense. You have got to be very strong and have your head screwed on right to let yourself be tied up and enjoy it. And forget about low self-esteem: it’s quite the opposite. Men love women who are strong, brave and who can take risks. Nothing turns them on more than having control.
There are different ways of tying someone up but we will focus on the two most important ones: bondage and Shibari.
Bondage is a technique that consists in tying someone up so that they are unable to move whether it’s in bed, in a chair or hanging on a swing. It doesn’t matter what is used to tie them up: it could be a rope, a necktie, or a handkerchief made of leather, cloth or latex. Using handcuffs is very common in this type of practice. The point is to leave the other person completely unable to move.
Originally from Japan, Shibari, is much more complicated and you have to have a nice body to practice it because it gives great importance to aesthetic balance. Jute or rice rope is used but unlike bondage, it isn’t necessary to leave the person completely unable to move. Ever since the 1960s, Shibari has been very popular in Japan, where great masters of the art give exhibitions in theatres and special events venues. It’s a highly structured practice that is built up stage by stage; first the torso, then the backside with the stomach and finally all the body. It is not just some game involving ropes; very often the model can have amazing, practically magic sensations…to the point of reaching total ecstasy.
In both cases the important thing is to agree on a keyword to avoid possible conflicts which, although they don’t happen often, can occur with this kind of activity. Fantasies lead us to say NO when we want to say YES or make us believe that someone is hurting even when they are not. In the world of BDSM the keyword is known as THE SAFETY WORD. The important thing is that it is a word that can be spoken quickly and loudly. STOP or TANGO for example, are often used.
You can let them do anything to you when you are tied up in bed or to your own body but there are postures that are more pleasurable than others, for example, the greyhound posture; with your back to the man and with your hands tied. It’s the classic submission posture that will drive your man crazy.
And thanks to this practice, oral sex won’t be the same again. How many times have you squeezed your lover’s head hard or closed your legs when your partner was giving you cunnilingus? Well, you can forget about that because you won’t be able to do it. Your partner will enjoy your mound of Venus like never before and you will feel more pleasure than you are capable of imagining.
Dare yourself to practice the art of being tied up.
What do you say?
Will you tie me up or do I tie you up?