Submission is a term often associated with relationships of emotional dependency and humiliation.
Fifty Shades of Grey opened the doors of S&M to us, becoming the most desired fantasy and more and more people are showing curiosity about it. It’s a big power game among couples.
Being submissive is a role that you take on during the time you decide to have the relationship or the sexual game; it is not something that defines you in every aspect of your life or even your personality. You allow yourself to be treated in a way that has been previously agreed upon and the dominant partner takes control: like this, it is pleasurable.
The idea of loving yourself, of recognizing yourself, of taking care of your self-esteem and valuing yourself has nothing to do with submission.
It is a decision you yourself take and one that is decided voluntarily at the moment when you want to play and experience with your sex life in that role. Whenever you are not in bed, any kind of behaviour that is based on domination or humiliation is demeaning
Many experts claim that more and more people have sadomasochistic fantasies.
The key that joins pleasure and pain is in a substance that the brain secretes when we feel pain, “endorphins”. I would say it is pleasure by power and submission or that it is pain itself…
For newcomers to this form of behaviour we are going to provide some useful guidelines that will be of great help to them.
An escort, a short-time hotel and enough time. Accessories have nothing to do with making it more or less pleasurable.
Talk about it to the other person beforehand: it is very likely that they feel the same curiosity and each of you will be able to bring new formulas to the practice. If, on the other hand, it is your partner who proposes it to you and you do not feel that it is the right moment or situation, do not hesitate to inform them and let time pass by; perhaps one day you will be the one to decide. It is important not to do it to satisfy your partner; nobody should do anything that leads to phobias or trauma: it is unnecessary and dangerous.
If both parties have already decided on it, it is important to assign the roles of who will be the dominant one and who will be the submissive one and to take into account the role of each one.
Certain vital safewords should be agreed upon by both.
You can find inspiration in erotic novels and in the film, 50 Shades of Grey. It will help you to understand and act in a soft, slow way during your first steps in S&M. Using ropes and eye masks can be good practices when going deeper into and experiencing this delicate way of treating your partner.
One person is going to be the active one and the other is going to go along with it. Agree on a safeword to use when it’s time to stop, so that things do not go too far. It does not have to be dangerous if you set out ways of going about it and if we do not objectify the other person.
Doing it in a natural, cheerful and fun way will make it easier to suggest it to your partner and mean that you experience it successfully.
Do not do anything that is bad for you or harms you morally; explain it and if it is not the right moment, do not force it.
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